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I know many coaches that see the success of other teams and immediately start the comparisons. What did that coach do but I didn’t? How can I do the same drills? How can I get the same level of player? Unfortunately, these are pitfalls for youth coaches that measure their value only by the result. The implication is that success can be repeated if you simply apply the same formula as if it is a recipe.

That thinking is an extension of the rampant commentary about professional sports. You can pick the team or sport, but at the highest levels of competition there are thousands of people who love to share their opinion about how their favorite team, “just needs” that last piece of the puzzle and they’ll have a chance.

Similarly, the US Olympic trials just finished and the level competition for each sport to select the best athletes in the country is just awesome. I can’t help but have tons of empathy for those who just missed the cut. I know each one of them has been committed and dedicated to their training for years. Yet, they will likely have to stay home and cheer, like most Americans.

Player Inspiration

On the other hand, while they didn’t make it this time, most will have other chances to compete. Some day, they will look back on the dedication and time spent training and ask, “Was it all worth it?”

I like to think that answer is a resounding “YES” because I assume any athlete is really only competing at that level when they love the sport. While the most talented and dedicated athletes will earn the most awards and attract the most attention, as they rightly should. I also believe you can’t achieve that level of success unless you love the sport.

That love of the game is something any athlete at any level can relate to. Many of us had moments watching the best professional or olympian perform at such a high level we were inspired.

I can remember being inspired by basketball players at all levels. I remember telling myself two thing as I watched, “That looks like fun!” and “I think I can do that someday!” Those moments were inspiring because I just knew it was possible with enough work.

I have to admit that some of the things that inspired me, I was never able to reproduce. However, there were many skills I improved well enough to enjoy playing the game. In retrospect, the lessons I learned along the way have shaped me as an adult.

Although, I was never fixated on being a championship at any level, but I was focused on being the best player I could be. That commitment, effort and self determination taught me many life lessons much bigger than basketball. It taught me lessons through both success and failure that has given me what I think is the right balance of confidence and humility in everything I do.

Coaching Inspiration

I think many coaches initially start coaching youth sports because they believe, “I can take what I experienced as player, apply the parts I enjoyed, and subtract the parts I hated and players will have an even better experience than I had.”

This is the mindset of most first time coaches, until they start to get competitive or see kids get discouraged from embarrassing losses. They quickly realize the diverse player talent, difficult player personalities and demanding parents make this a much more difficult task.

Now, they are faced with talented kids who want to “be challenged” and the parents who want to win more games. On the other end of the spectrum are the players who just want “more playing time”.

Parental Inspiration – Keep Kids Involved

The most important thing for any coach to keep in their mind is the original purpose for youth sports. Any youth sports program exists to serve kids not coaches or parents. Their purpose is to create the best experience for every player, not just the most talented. The program does not exist to serve the coach, build a resume or land a new job. It exists to serve the kids.

Any youth sports program exists to serve kids not coaches or parents.

Clearly parents really want to see their kids play and have fun. They want to see their kids embrace something they love and get opportunities to succeed. Parents want to keep kids involved. Its usually not about the scholarship or fame.

Parents want to keep kids involved. Its usually not about the scholarship or fame.

In most cases, they will be there to support the player and the coach that provided the opportunity because the coach is showing trust in the player and the coach is honoring the trust the parent placed with the coach to treat their child fairly.

These days, parents’ have heard enough stories about kids who, for various reasons, really cannot fully participate in sports or other activities. However, for those kids that don’t have such limitations, parents want to keep their kids active because some day they may not be able to play due to age, health or some other unforeseen reason.  I’m reminded of the adage, “Youth is wasted on the young.”

After a big game it’s not unusual for the coach to say, “Let’s go celebrate and get ice cream!” But have you ever celebrated after a big loss?  After the game where you felt like it was a scene from the bad news bears? One error led to another,which led to another and it felt like eternity to get that third out? That game where just a few kids hit the ball and the rest struck out. This is when you need to step back and find the positives in that game. Look at the athletes and see how they handled the loss, are they discouraged because they had a bad game? Or can they say that they tried their best, and there’s always next time. 

This is a huge challenge for coaches. Trying to focus on the positive instead of the negative. Reminding the kids that if they gave it their all, and didn’t give up, then it was a well played game.

Too many kids get discouraged after making an error which, without the right support, leads to more errors. This is when I really need to encourage them, remind them that they can do it. “Shake it off, good try, get ready for the next play.” There will always be another play. There will always be another chance to hit. Their career isn’t ending after the game, that’s part of the joy, their sport career is just beginning. They already know there was a mistake, they need to know mistakes are part of the process.

We can all picture the scene, a child strikes out and it can be so disappointing, head hung low, kicking the dirt back to the dugout. You can see it coming, they want to throw their bat and helmet, so frustrated with the strikeout they feel the need to express their anger. This is where I step in try to put all that negativity away, remind them that they gave it a great effort. This time it didn’t work out, but they tried and gave it their all. And guess what, you will get another try at hitting the ball!  There will always be another chance at fielding that ground ball or catching that pop up. Sometimes the challenge is making them believe in themselves. Only then, can they truly turn failure into growth.

They need to be reminded, “this is a learning experience, if you make a mistake then what did you learn from it?” This is where we grow both as coaches and players. Winning is fun, I mean, who doesn’t want to win the game? But there is a lot to learn from losing a game, this is when coaches and players can (and should) grow. These are the time we realize what we need to work on as a team or individual player. It’s when we lose we strive to be a better player and work harder to get that win.

Winning is great and gives you a great reason to celebrate, however losing the game isn’t a reason to be sad. I will often tell my players, and I’m sure we’ve heard the cliche before, “it really doesn’t matter if we win or lose, it’s how we play the game”. Did we give it our all? Did we try and encourage our teammates?  If the answer is yes then it’s a win my book, if each player can honestly say they gave it their all and tried their hardest then that’s all that matters.

The pain of a loss should fuel coaches and players during practices. Games are important as a relative test, but there are very few individual games that will have a real and lasting impact on your life, win or lose. You will get another chance, there will be another game…win or lose though, you should always take them out for ice cream!